suicide . the way to go ?

life is certainly not going well for me .

school is still okay , for i've found some reliable and trust-worthy friends .

at least that's one good thing compared to all the bad things i'm facing now .

as i grow older . i find it hard to confide in someone .

even him .

i do know that i can always confide in God . but ,

it's just not the same .

i know he hears me . but i don't .

i need some verbal help .

someone to share my worries , woes and sadness .

i'm still not recovering well from the many deaths of my family members .

after all , i'm only 14 .

even i could not trust this blog . as it's not private and many people can read it .

i'm too lazy to make it private as there's quite a number of e-mails to punch .

i just hope someone would come to my rescue now .

i just hope i can survive yet another turmoil .

and for BINGBING who's probably reading this .

don't MAKE FUN OF THIS YOU PIG . hahahas . :D

i'm feeling very insecure .

like wth ? stupid blogger don't let me save my previous post .

now i have to re-type them all again . ugh !

oh wells , i just think that i'm exactly like a unstable rocking boat .

i mean , i get influenced by people and views VERY easily .

everything i believed in , just changes within a matter of time .

ugh . why do i even bother to have menses ??

if i can choose to have menses or not . i would choose the latter .

ugh .

i'm ugly , laura's fugly , yishan's pugly .

"she ain't got no alibi ! she ugly !

U-G-L-Y , she ain't got no alibi !

she ugly ! she's major ugly , OH !

she's fat and pugly OHMYGOD ,

now the cow says MOO ."

hahas . that was sung by stewie from Family guy ,

he's my favourite character in the show ! ;D

hahas . oh wellls , i better start slimming down .

feeling really fat man .

people , please do not spam my blog . and do not comment .

it's my blog and i set the rules . thankyouverymuch .

i am so easily influenced .

oh my gosh . i'm just like an unstable rocking boat .

my mood , thoughts and everything i believed in can be changed within a few comments and views .

gosh . why do i even bother to have menses ?

being a girl is realllly tough .

now i'm feeling super insecure and fat .

i think i'm fat and ugly .

so i'm fugly .

that makes sense . seems that i'm ugly , laura's fugly and yishan's pugly .

"she ain't got no alibi ! she ugly ! she ugly !

u-g-l-y ! she ain't got no alibi ! she ugly !

she's major ugly OH !

she's fat and fugly OH MY GOD ,

now the cow says MOO !"

hahas . i love little stewie from the family guy .

he's like my favourtie character luh .

i really need to slim down .

i really feel very very very fat .

ugh . people , do not comment please . and my blog's not for spamming .

thanks and goodbye .

OUR FOURTH MONTH ! ;D

hahas . today is our fourth month .

" wow ! how time flies ! "

i get that a lot nowadays . hahas .

but , i'm glad we made it .

;) oh yea , today is so funny luh .

today is not only me and baby's anniversary .

it's also sharon and kailshen's 10th month ,

jutlandia and laura's 2nd lesbian month ,

wilson's birthday . and who did i miss out ?

anyways , it's been a jam packed day .

hahas . i'm really tired these past few days .

wondering what's wrong . hahas .

baby came over just now and it was really nice .

i mean it's his third year in poly and it's been hard on him .

3 major projects and they are not the kind we deal in our school .

those are like business kinds . so yea .

i haven't been giving much credit to him .

so i felt guilty .. but baby's as understanding as always ;D

hahas . and that's what i LOVE about him .

see uncle ! i found out what i love about him ! hahahas .

so yea . i just wana thank some people while i'm at it .

these people helped me figure my way out .

-uncle ,

-kor ,

-baby ;D

-my gurlfriends in school ;D

so yea . hahas . LOVE YOU GUYS LOADS . ♥

okay . i'll stop for now . gotta get some zzzzs .

tmr is a looooooong day .

2hours of bio , 2hours of p.o.a.

i think i'm going to fall asleep in one of these classes . HAH !

loveloves !

crash and burn .

why do people act as someone they're not ?

i know of one particular person who's like that .

why oh why pretend you're someone thats not you ?

you're special just the way you are .

if you hadn't tried to be like some other party ***** ,

i wouldn't be so mad and disgusted by you .

like wth .

ripping photos off the net and posting it as your own ?

that's low man .

changing people like changing clothes is also a must huh ?

oh wells . i don't frigging care about you no more .

if you want to crash and burn .

go ahead . i won't stop you .

i just brought dumb to a whole new level .

ugh ! i'm the dumbest ass in this whole world man !

i didn't even know school starts next monday ! T.T

i didn't even know i worked throughout the whole of my june holidays !

i am seriously so stupid .

i have to complete my homework assignments soon .

but i'm too lazy ! someone please irritate me to do it please ?!

oh , and i need help on maths !

i am a very sad child ...

ps. SAEYEON'S BACK ! ;D

holidays .

holidays can be so boring .

it can also be so much fun .

depends on the person him/herself .

for me . i decided to work . instead of going out with friends to shop like mad .

missed out on so many wonderful moments .

but i tried my best to live those days to the fullest .

or so i thought . hahas .

anyways , i'm still sick so i can't freaking go out at all .

i've got the cash . but i ain't got the time .

how to shop ? T.T

been hoping for new clothes and bags . cause i'm seriously in need of it .

so that i can stay savvy .

but i can also try matching my old clothes . for a new and funkier look .

but oh wells . damn my lazy personality .

i've been trying ! i swear ! i've been trying real hard to kick this habit away .

but i need someone to help me with .

gotta really go find some time to go out man .

tmr there's work all the way till sunday . and my holidays are ending soon .

gotta start craking on my holiday assignments .

really should go take a second bath . cause the first didn't work out well at all .

still am feeling lazy . yup . layyyzeeeee ...

i can't help wanting going back to school ...

ain't it funny ? while schooling , we're all counting down the days to our holidays .

but once it starts , you dread the long hours , doing nothing at all .

then you'll start to wish you're in school again .

but when it finally ends and you have to go back to school , you suddenly miss your holidays ?

hahas . i'm seriously feeling like this now . oh weelll . must be my urge to shop makes me feel like this huh ?

i need to get out .

hello ! ;D

i seem to be in a good mood today .

was sick so i didn't went for the day camp .

i seem to be really lazy man .

for the past 2 or 3 weeks i haven't been blogging .

working , sleeping , shopping and playing must have taken up most of my time .

hahas . currently i'm still working .

my third job of the year .

woo hoo ! ;D

i'm actually doing roadshows . so yea .

now i know being a promoter can be fun and rewarding . but also at the same time ,

super tiring . hahas .

but the pay's quite okay . so now i can afford all the things i've been secretly craving for !

hahahs . made lots of new friends too .

networking is important too ! and it's never too late to start ! ;D

oh yea , i went to baby's friend's dog farm the other day and i played with [almost] all her doggies ! hahas .

total of : six fully grown siberian huskys , three baby siberian huskys and six active jack russells !

i'm such a dog lover . hahas . love them loads man .

okay then , i'll stop for now . getting lazy liao .

oh yea ! yesterday's camp was super duper extra fun ! hahas . we went for yoga lessons ! super funny luh .

the teacher kept saying 'smile ! remember it's fun yoga ! '

while we were like trying to twist like pretzels . hahas .

super funny .

i'm off now , ;D

loveloves ! ♥

p.s , i'm too lazy to upload photos . will try to for the next post ! ;D